


Gradually Overwhelmed

by Nary



Category: Adventure World (game)
Genre: Adopted Children, Blushing, Class Differences, Conversations, Developing Relationship, Dragonborn (D&D), Fluid Sexuality, Group Marriage, Kissing, Love Bites, Mild Sexual Content, Morning Cuddles, Moving In Together, Multi, Naked Male Clothed Female, Parents & Children, Past Abuse, Plans For The Future, Polyamory, Rape/Non-con References, Relationship Negotiation, Sexual Dysfunction, Sharing a Bed, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-26
Updated: 2013-06-26
Packaged: 2017-12-16 05:24:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/858303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nary/pseuds/Nary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aleyn stirred sleepily, wondering where he was.  The bed felt unfamiliar (though comfortable), the light too bright, and he was curled up close not with Vedran, but someone larger, whose skin was covered in scales... Ardith, then.  He felt drowsily on the other side of him for Vedran, but found him gone.  Gradually yesterday started to come back to him.  They had officially bought the house in the morning - well, Ardith and Vedran had signed the papers - and they'd planned for an evening together to celebrate...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gradually Overwhelmed

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Measured_words and JW for beta reading and character input!

Aleyn stirred sleepily, wondering where he was. The bed felt unfamiliar (though comfortable), the light too bright, and he was curled up close not with Vedran, but someone larger, whose skin was covered in scales... Ardith, then. He felt drowsily on the other side of him for Vedran, but found him gone. Gradually yesterday started to come back to him. They had officially bought the house in the morning - well, Ardith and Vedran had signed the papers - and they'd planned for an evening together to celebrate. Aleyn had taken Saiya and Mhireen to stay at his mother's, and then the three of them had gone out to dinner, where they'd enjoyed a few glasses of wine along with an excellent meal.

Then Ardith had suggested they go to Silver Corners to pay a visit to their new house. Vedran and Aleyn had agreed readily enough, although it was still standing empty. To their surprise, however, Ardith had led them upstairs and proudly opened a door at the end of the hall. In the intervening hours, she had somehow managed to have one of the bedrooms set up - it was still mostly unfurnished, nothing on the walls or floors, but there were three soft armchairs and a small round table (with another bottle of wine on it), and a large, impressive bed. That was where he was now, Aleyn realized, although the end of the evening had been a bit of a blur. He remembered Vedran saying he had to get up early in the morning, something about an important meeting, and there had been some kissing and cuddling, but beyond that, not a whole lot else.

He realized as well that he was naked, though Ardith was wearing a short-sleeved linen shift. This caused a moment's confusion, but he decided it was probably just because she had been cold, not because of some miscommunication about how much clothing they were expected to wear to bed. They had been naked together before, so it wasn't too alarming, although usually Vedran was there too. The house was chilly, the only fire that had been lit in their room had now died down to embers, and the windows weren't covered by curtains yet so they let out much of the already-meagre warmth. Aleyn burrowed further under the blankets - those at least were warm - and closer to Ardith, who rolled over towards him in return. Her scales were cool to the touch, although not too terribly cold. "That's nice," she mumbled, eyes still closed, as they wrapped their arms around each other. "Warm."

"I try," Aleyn replied, smiling. "I guess Vedran must have already gone?"

"Mmhmm," she nodded. "He said he had to go get changed before his meeting. He gave both of us a kiss and left before the sun was even up."

"I must have still been unconscious," Aleyn murmured. "Did we finish all that wine?"

"Oh yes," Ardith assured him. "You didn't think Vedran would let us waste half a bottle of the Pavise '72, did you?"

Aleyn assumed that meant it was expensive - at the very least, it was old. "Probably not," he admitted. "Did I say thank you last night? It was a really nice surprise, setting all this up for us."

"You did, several times," she said with a smile. "I thought it would be good to have a first night in our new home together, even if there's still a lot of work to go before it's really ready to move in."

"It was a great idea," Aleyn agreed. "A taste of what's to come?"

"Hopefully." Ardith nipped gently at his neck, which he now knew was an affectionate gesture for dragonborn, even if she had to tone it down slightly for partners without scales to avoid breaking their more fragile skin. She glanced down at the narrow space between them, and Aleyn blushed even though he didn’t think she could see anything under the blankets. "Are you okay like this?"

"It's fine with me," he told her, still blushing, "as long as you don't mind."

"I just want you to be comfortable," Ardith said. "I like that both of you are relaxed enough to be naked around me now." It had been almost six weeks since their wedding, and in that time things between them had been progressing well, or at least Aleyn thought so, even if they hadn't always gone perfectly smoothly. Vedran had been busy and stressed, and consequently he'd had a few set-backs, but overall Aleyn was confident that their new relationship would continue to improve.

"I'm comfortable, except for the part where I really have to get up and use the bathroom, and it's going to be freezing," Aleyn said with a rueful smile.

"True," Ardith said sympathetically. "But I'll get the fire built up again while you're gone, and hopefully we can warm things up in here."

Aleyn nodded and took a deep breath, steeling himself for getting out from under the heavy blankets. "Okay, I'm going... really... now!" Jumping up, he hurried across the room, which was just as cold as he'd feared. At least it distracted him from feeling self-conscious about wandering around naked in their new house as he tried to remember where the bathroom was.

By the time he got back he was covered in goosebumps, but, as promised, Ardith had gotten the fire blazing again - probably with the help of her dragonmark, since she was already back in bed. "Come on, before you freeze," she told him, pulling the blankets back slightly to help him get under them as quickly as possible.

"Now it's your turn to help warm me up," Aleyn said, still shivering as he snuggled up beside her.

"It's only fair," she agreed, wrapping her arm around his waist to draw him closer before letting out a little shriek. "Ah, your feet are like ice!"

Aleyn chuckled and removed them to a safe distance from her leg. "Sorry, but there are no carpets in this house yet, and I didn't know I was supposed to pack slippers. Next time I'll know better what it means when you invite me over," he teased.

"Once we get things set up, you'll be able to have anything you need here - slippers, clothes, a comb," she replied, running her talons through his perpetually messy hair with a fond smile. "I mean before you move in for good, that is." They had decided that it would be best for him to move in after the social season was over, in about three months’ time, so that there would be less attention on them and hopefully less gossip. It wasn’t easy to have to wait, but Aleyn knew that such appearances mattered more to them. In the meanwhile, he was so busy with the children that he barely had time to be lonely - it was a big change for Saiya and Mhireen as well, and he hadn’t been getting much sleep lately, which probably helped explain why he’d crashed so hard the night before.

“Do you have to go to work soon too?” he asked Ardith.

“For once, no,” she said. “I don’t have any meetings until the afternoon. I was planning to have this morning with you.”

Aleyn automatically interpreted that ‘you’ as plural. “It’s too bad Vedran couldn’t stay longer, then.”

Ardith smiled. “I meant just you - I knew he would have to leave early this morning, but you and I don’t get as much time to ourselves, and I thought it would be nice. When do you need to pick up the kids?”

“Well, I said I would come by around lunch, but Mom encouraged me to take longer if I wanted. I couldn’t decide if it was just that she was happy to have extra time with her new grandchildren, or if she thinks we’re going to be busy making more and wants to give us plenty of opportunities,” he said dryly.

Ardith chuckled. “It’s sweet that she’s so... encouraging. And I’m glad you’re getting a bit of a break, you looked tired yesterday. If you want to spend your morning off by going back to sleep, it’s fine with me.”

“No, it’s all right,” Aleyn said. “I’m wide awake now, I feel like I slept for a week.”

“Are either of them settling in and sleeping better yet?” she asked sympathetically.

“Saiya’s been doing all right,” he replied. “Even when she’s not up in the middle of the night, she still wakes up at dawn, though. Mhireen is trickier, since he doesn’t need as much rest anyway, and I’m not really an expert on getting him to trance yet - Vedran can do it when he’s over, but even if I do exactly the same things it seems to take longer. Maybe it’s just because Vedran’s a better singer,” he added with a shrug.

“He’s had more practice. At getting children to trance, I mean - well, probably at singing too,” she added with a smile. “But I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it soon. Even with the exhaustion and the occasional frustration, though, I hope you’re enjoying new fatherhood?”

“They’re wonderful kids,” Aleyn said, beaming. “Yeah, it’s tough sometimes, but I love them so much. I didn’t know if it would happen so fast, but it definitely has. They make me laugh, and I’m just so happy to have them with me at last... It’ll be better when we can all be together, though.” He nestled his head comfortably against her shoulder, in a way he wouldn’t have thought possible just a couple of months before.

“I’m glad,” Ardith said. “I hope it won’t be too much of a disruption for them when you move in here. I... I’m already a little nervous about that. I’m comfortable with children, but it’s always been in situations when they weren’t mine, so I could hand them back if necessary - and when I didn’t feel like I would be taking the place of their real mothers.”

Aleyn nodded. “I know what you mean. Saiya doesn’t remember ever having a father, as far as I can tell - I don’t know if he died when she was a baby, or left them before she was born, or what, but it’s not as much an issue for her in that sense. She started calling me ‘Daddy’ almost right away. Mhireen... well, like with the sleep issues, it’s a little more complicated with him. He remembers his parents a lot better - occasionally he’ll talk about them. He just calls me ‘Aleyn’ and that’s fine with me. I told him I can’t ever replace his parents, but that I love him like they did and that he’s part of our family now too. I hope that’s the right thing to say. He seemed to accept it, at least, but it’s harder for me to guess what he’s thinking sometimes.” 

“I guess it’s just another thing we have to do our best to figure out as we go along,” Ardith replied, drawing the blankets around them more snugly. “I know it probably won’t always go smoothly. It’s a lot of responsibility, and it’s harder to explain things to children, or to get them to explain to us when something isn’t okay.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you’ll do a great job at motherhood,” Aleyn reassured her. “And you’ll have lots of help, too, from me and Vedran, and Tavya, and Kier, and whoever else we find. Hopefully that will make it a bit easier.” 

“Thank you,” said Ardith. “I’m getting some chances to spend one on one time with Macen, and that’s been going pretty well, I think. Of course, it’s different with him - his mother’s still a big part of his life, and will be for the foreseeable future.” She paused, as if considering her words carefully. “I feel conflicted about that. Vedran swears Jacinthe has never, and would never, do anything to hurt Macen, and I believe it - from a physical standpoint, at least. But knowing the things I do about her now, I wonder how I can ever trust her to share in raising a child - our child - appropriately. It makes Vedran upset to talk about it...”

“It’s okay to talk to me about it, though,” Aleyn told her. “I worry about it too.”

“I... I think I might hate her,” Ardith said, sounding a bit surprised. “I was at a luncheon last week and she was there as well, and it was all I could do not to say something to her. I restrained myself mostly by thinking how horrible it would make Vedran feel, how embarrassed he would be, so I settled for just ignoring her as much as possible and being very, very polite when I couldn’t.”

“You did better than I probably would have,” said Aleyn with a hint of a smile. “I might have had to leave the room.”

“The things she did to him... it makes me so angry, even if I don’t know all the details. And scared that maybe we’ll never be able to break her hold over him entirely, undo the damage she did. And the worst part is having to keep dealing with her, because of Macen and because we move in the same circles socially, and pretending like everything is all right when it’s not at all.”

“Another good reason for me to avoid fancy parties,” Aleyn said dryly, before continuing more softly. “I think it’s normal to feel angry at her - I certainly do, if I think about it too much. But... I guess I try not to dwell on it. Vedran is who he is. I fell in love with him like this - I never knew what he was like before, and it’s pointless to imagine what things would have been like otherwise. His life would have been totally different, and maybe he would never have found me - found us. I’m not saying it’s good that she hurt him, but it’s not something we can ever undo either.” Ardith’s face fell for a moment and Aleyn reached out to touch her cheek gently. “But things can get better - I’ve already seen how much he’s improving just in the time I’ve known him, and I have to believe that he’ll continue to heal and grow stronger. Maybe not always fast, or without some reversals now and then, but over time... together, we can help him put those bad memories firmly in the past, and make them stay there while we create new, better ones instead.”

Ardith nodded slowly. “That all sounds very sensible. I knew it would be a slow process from the start, even if I wasn’t sure what exactly it might involve.”

“How are things, uh, going between you two?” Aleyn asked, a bit hesitantly. He had heard some details from Vedran, but he was curious about Ardith’s perspective on the issues.

“Mostly quite well,” she said with a shy smile in return. “I mean, we’re still... getting to know one another’s preferences, and it’s early yet. I’m not sure exactly what I expected, but he’s been very good about trying to explain things, to talk through problems when they come up, things like ways he doesn’t like to be touched, or words that it bothers him to hear...” She looked at Aleyn more intently. “But you’ve been with him longer - you must know all of that already.”

“Some of it,” Aleyn agreed. “I still stumble over some unexpected trip-wire now and then - or I just screw up in the heat of the moment,” he admitted. “I have a hard time keeping in mind that he doesn’t like it when I say I’d do anything for him, or that he can have anything he wants from me... I guess because he doesn’t think he can be trusted with such a big responsibility when it comes to, uh, sex.”

“Yes, I found out about that one too - telling him that we could do whatever he wanted was a mistake, I learned.” Ardith looked a little sad and wistful at the memory.

“It’s not one of the worst ones,” Aleyn told her, stroking her arm comfortingly. “Usually he can get back to... where we were... with a bit of a break, after a set-back like that... I guess that’s something that’s important to know, if you haven’t found it out already. Sometimes he doesn’t need to stop entirely, he just needs a few minutes to pull himself together, and then he can try again, try something different maybe.”

Ardith nodded. “We don’t, um, have a lot of options of things we’ve tried successfully yet. If something isn’t working, normally we just go back to holding each other, maybe some kissing...”

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with that,” Aleyn assured her. “Lots of nights we’ve ended up that way too, when it was too stressful to do anything else. I know it can be... difficult to deal with when each time you’re hoping maybe things will go smoothly and then it doesn’t, for whatever reason. And... I want you to know that it’s okay if you want to talk about those feelings with me, the ones that might just make Vedran upset or guilty if you dumped them on him. You don’t have to hide them from me, because I have them too sometimes.”

Ardith gave a sigh, a mix of relief and frustration. “I’m glad... I don’t want him to feel like he’s causing problems - that’s the last thing he needs. And I truly am happy to be with him, I don’t want to feed any doubts he might have about that. But knowing that I have an outlet for when I feel discouraged or disappointed is reassuring.”

“I mean, if there’s something you’re really not happy with, you don’t have to hide it from him!” Aleyn added hastily. “I don’t mean that we’re never allowed to show him when we’re frustrated - sometimes that’s important for him to realize, and gods know we don’t have to be perfect all the time either. But with some sorts of problems, if you don’t think it would be productive for him to have to deal with all that, or if it’s something he’s not really in the right frame of mind to cope with, you can always talk to me.”

“Thank you,” Ardith said sincerely. “And I hope you feel you can talk to me about issues like that too.” 

“Thanks,” said Aleyn. “I do, but...” He hesitated, looking concerned.

“What is it?”

“If... when I talk to you about sex stuff, is it okay if I use some words that maybe aren’t the most polite?” he asked in a rush. “It’s easier for me to talk about it if I’m not worried about remembering to use the proper terms for things.”

Ardith smiled, just a little. “What sort of words do you mean?”

“Well, like saying ‘cock’ instead of ‘penis,’ or ‘come’ instead of ‘orgasm,’” Aleyn explained nervously, feeling more out of his depth than ever. “Those words just... uh, come more naturally to me, so to speak. If they bother you, though, I can try to avoid them.”

“No, that’s all right,” Ardith told him, smiling more broadly. “They might not be my own preferred terms, but I’m not offended by them. Go ahead and use whatever words are normal for you. If there’s something I don’t understand, I’ll just ask you for a translation.”

“Okay, good,” Aleyn said, relieved. “So, um... can I ask if Vedran has come with you so far?”

Ardith blushed, shaking her head. “Not yet. We’re really just at the point where he’s starting to be more comfortable with me touching him that intimately, let alone taking it to orgasm. It seems easier for him to touch me and for both of us to enjoy that - and even that took time - but letting me return the favour is more difficult.”

“Yeah, that sounds about like what I expected. It was like that with us at first too, where he could do things for me but wasn’t ready for me to do the same for him. It did get better eventually, and for a little while I thought maybe things were actually going to be different from now on...”

“You mean he was able to reach orgasm with you?” Ardith asked gently. 

“A few times,” Aleyn told her shyly. “About half a dozen, all told, and in different ways, so I hoped maybe things were better.... Well, that was before the wedding and the kids and the house and all this Nachtur stuff, and with the stress from that... I guess he’s kind of retreated a bit, and I’ve been exhausted too, and it’s made things more difficult all around. I keep thinking maybe after the vote things will get better, if he’s not constantly worrying about that. Maybe we can even get away for a while, just the family, and relax. The only time since the wedding that we’ve managed to fuck where we both came, he wound up crying after, and I felt awful for pushing him too far, even though he said it wasn’t my fault....”

“He was probably pushing himself too,” Ardith consoled him, stroking his shoulder. “He wants so badly to be able to do these things, to be ‘normal’, as he puts it, that sometimes he tries more than he’s ready for.”

“I know,” Aleyn said, turning his face into the pillow a bit to avoid meeting her gaze. “And sometimes it works out, and sometimes it doesn’t. Lately, mostly it doesn’t.” 

“I’m sorry,” said Ardith sympathetically. “If it’s too painful to talk about, we don’t have to...”

“No, I want to,” Aleyn said, looking back at her with a stubborn expression. “It’s something that affects all of us, and we need to be able to talk about it.”

“Okay,” she said. “Maybe you can tell me more about why it’s so difficult for him to let himself go like that. He’s tried to explain it to me, a little, but it’s sometimes hard for me to understand what he’s trying to say, especially when he’s already upset.”

Aleyn nodded. “He’ll say bits and pieces of things, and over time it starts to make more sense, but you have to keep putting it together. I’ve got a pretty good sense of it now, I think, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s more that I don’t know. Partly it’s about how things went on their wedding night... I know he’s talked about that with you, with both of us on _our_ wedding night, but from what I understand, she insisted they had to have sex, to consummate the marriage, but she didn’t participate or enjoy it at all, just lay there while he... well, did his thing. Even though it was Jacinthe who said they had to do it, he feels guilty about that - about being the kind of person who is capable of doing that, I guess. And he feels like that’s where everything started to go wrong, although I don’t know how true that is - it seems to me if she already felt that way going in, there was something wrong even before they got married, only he didn’t know it yet.”

He paused, considering how to go on. “And then... I think the bigger problems came later. I know that she would only allow him to come to her if he acted in certain ways, if he did exactly as she told him. She made him feel like he needed to have that kind of control, or else he’d behave like an animal. Both the control she exerted over him, and what he had to exert over himself. She didn’t always let him come, and if he was allowed, he had to... clean up after himself. I think at least once his control came close to slipping, and he can’t forgive himself for that.”

“For what?” Ardith asked, puzzled.

“For thinking about having sex with her without her permission,” he explained. “I don’t know exactly what happened - I think he touched her, but I’m not sure how. But she hit him, and he feels as though she knew what he was thinking, and that he deserved it... And I think that’s what he’s afraid of - that’s why he needs to know all the time that we want what he’s doing, and why he has trouble losing control.”

“Oh...” Ardith frowned, upset. “I hadn’t heard that part before, unless he tried to tell me but I didn’t understand it. That’s... terrible. Poor Vedran, carrying that around with him all the time.”

“I tried to tell him that just thinking something bad doesn’t mean he’s a bad person. Especially when I’m sure he was under a huge amount of stress, and with her always reminding him that she thought he was a horrible person, or not even a person, but an animal... But the thing is,” Aleyn admitted, “I don’t actually know what he did. Maybe he did do something that frightened her, or hurt her - he wasn’t able to be clear about it. I don’t think he actually tried to rape her,” he added quickly. “But from the way it upsets him, _something_ must have happened. I’m not saying that he deserved what she did to him, or that his guilt is rational or in proportion to whatever took place between them. But he feels like... like rape is something that could happen if he’s not careful, if he’s not controlled enough, when his desire is too strong. Even with us, even when we tell him that yes, we do want him, he has a hard time letting go of that fear.”

“I try to make sure I tell him as well as show him how much I want him, and how I enjoy the things he does for me,” Ardith said. “It’s not usually like me to be quite so... vocal in bed but I think it helps, a bit.”

Aleyn nodded. “I’m sure it does. It goes along with asking and giving permission for things, to keep reassuring him that it’s wanted, it’s good. I mean... once he gets down to it, he is very good at, uh, sex stuff, or at least I think so,” he said, smiling slightly.

“I think so too,” Ardith agreed, returning his smile. “I certainly don’t have any complaints about his technique so far, for the things we’ve tried.”

“Yeah, I was teasing him that he’d have to show me everything he knows about making a woman happy...” Aleyn trailed off awkwardly, realizing what he’d said. 

“Everything?” Ardith said with a smirk that made him blush even more. 

“Maybe not everything,” Aleyn mumbled. “Really anything would be a good start.”

“You already make me happy,” she assured him, stroking his arm gently. “You don’t have to do anything other than continue being yourself to do that, and I’m pretty sure that doesn’t require lessons.”

“Oh, um, thanks,” he stammered. “You make me happy too... It’s kind of confusing sometimes, but I’m starting to get used to it.”

“Confusing because I’m female?” She scratched Aleyn’s back affectionately with her claws, just lightly, but enough to make him shiver.

“Not just that,” Aleyn tried to clarify. “I mean, I have friends who are women, and they make me happy, and… this isn’t like that. I thought it would be... that we would learn over time to be friends, good friends. That’s what we had talked about, and that’s what I was expecting. But it’s turning into more than that. I mean,” he said, managing an embarrassed smile, “I don’t usually lie around in bed naked with women I’m friends with.”

“Or kiss them?” Ardith asked playfully.

“Maybe on the cheek,” he said, then realized what she might have been hinting at. “...Do you want a kiss?”

“I’d like that,” she replied with a smile. “If it’s okay with you.”

With a nod, Aleyn slid closer, pressing his lips to hers. It felt different than kissing Vedran, but as with so many things, he was becoming accustomed to the differences, and even learning to appreciate them. When they drew apart, she kept her arm wrapped around his waist, holding them together. Aleyn felt momentarily self-conscious as his cock, resting soft against his leg, brushed against the delicate scales of her thigh where her nightgown was hitched up, but she didn’t move away or seem bothered. 

“Sorry,” he said, apologizing not for the inadvertent contact but for something harder to pin down, feelings that seemed to slip from his grasp the more he tried to identify them. He thought he could understand for a moment the frustration Vedran must feel, wanting to be able to do more but uncertain of how to get there, or frightened of what he might discover if he did.

“It’s all right,” said Ardith, propping her head up on her hand to look at him more directly. She seemed to be considering what to say, while keeping her eyes locked on his. At last she spoke. “Aleyn... I’m not going to ask more from you than you can give. If this is what we can have, then I’m happy with this.”

Aleyn drew in his breath shakily, closing his eyes. “I... I’d like to be able to do more. I just don’t know if I can.”

“But you _would_ like to?” she probed gently. “You’re not just saying that because you think it’s what I want?”

“No.... I didn’t know if it was what you wanted, anyway. Or if you weren’t interested in... in sex with me. I wouldn’t be offended if you weren’t attracted to me that way, the way you are to Vedran.”

“Maybe it’s not exactly the same as I feel about Vedran,” she said, “but it doesn’t have to be. Just like you feel differently towards Vedran than you do towards me, and that’s all right. We can figure out our own feelings for each other. For what it’s worth, I do find you attractive, but I would understand if you can’t say the same for me.” 

“I... this is going to sound horrible, but the less I think of you as a woman, the easier it is for me to... to get in touch with those feelings, and say yes, I’m attracted to you.” He fumbled around for the right words before continuing. “I try to think of you just... as Ardith. As someone I like, and care for, and enjoy being with... someone I can be comfortable with, affectionate, even romantic with. It’s not about bodies or how they go together. That part still makes me panic a little bit.”

“I don’t want to make you panic,” she told him. “I just wanted to begin to figure out those feelings, together. To get a sense of what direction we wanted to try heading in, so we’re both operating from the same starting point. We can take as long as we need to get there, wherever we’re going. We can try things and if they don’t work out the first time, we can backtrack, or keep trying another time, whatever we decide is best.”

“Okay,” said Aleyn. He was suddenly reminded of saying something similar to Roth, long ago - asking him to keep an open mind, even if he wasn’t always sure he would like something, or felt he didn’t know what he was doing. He felt an unexpected pang of sympathy for the confused young man. “I’m willing to try,” he said, opening his eyes to look at Ardith once more. “I just don’t want to disappoint you, or hurt you.”

“Hurt me?” She looked puzzled. “I’m not sure how that would happen, unless you... I don’t know, lied to me, or betrayed me somehow, but...”

“No, I mean physically,” he said, blushing fiercely. “I did try sex, once, with a girl... well, twice, I guess... but it didn’t work right, it just seemed to hurt her...”

“Oh, honey,” Ardith said, blinking with surprise. Aleyn looked up, startled out of his unhappy memories by the term of endearment. “I don’t think you have to worry about that with me,” she continued, stroking his hair back from his face gently. “Was it her first time?”

Aleyn nodded. “Both of us...”

“Well, that explains that. I imagine you were both nervous, and didn’t really know what you were doing?”

“That’s probably an understatement,” he admitted.

“Then I think it’s normal for it to hurt under those circumstances - I doubt it was because of anything you did wrong, apart from simple inexperience. That’s not the case with us now.”

“I thought maybe... I just couldn’t fit, too big.”

Ardith made a little sound, like she was trying to stifle a laugh. “Aleyn, think about what you’re saying. Babies manage to squeeze through there - you’re big, but not _that_ big. I’m fairly sure most women could handle you with enough encouragement and preparation, even skinny little human girls. And I’m not a skinny little human girl,” she added with a slight smirk.

“No, well... when you put it that way...”

“You can fit with men, right? With Vedran?”

“Some guys,” he muttered. “A couple times with Vedran. But I have to work up to it, usually... can’t just do it right away.”

“So, it’s the same with women. As long as everyone’s nice and ready, it shouldn’t be too big of a problem.” Her smile widened at her accidental joke, and Aleyn couldn’t help but chuckle at his own foolishness.

“Okay, I’ll try not to worry too much about that, at least. But... that wasn’t the only issue when I tried with Li- with a woman before.” He shifted awkwardly - suddenly even the feather bed seemed uncomfortable. But he knew he had to be honest with Ardith, or it wouldn’t be fair to her. “I had a hard time, uh, getting hard, and staying hard... I couldn’t come, I didn’t even get close.” 

“So that’s why you’re worried about disappointing me?” she asked. “If things don’t go perfectly?”

“You deserve better,” he blurted. “It’s hard enough with Vedran, you don’t need another partner who can’t give you what you need...”

“Don’t be silly,” she told him softly. “I deserve exactly the spouses I chose - two sweet, thoughtful, caring men, who both make me very happy. And, to be perfectly blunt, my sexual satisfaction doesn’t depend on your erection, or Vedran’s orgasms. Those are very wonderful things, I’m sure, and I’d be delighted to assist if and when they happen, but in the meanwhile I’ll tell you the same thing I’ve said to Vedran - we don’t have to worry about that right now, because there are plenty of other enjoyable things we can do instead.”

“I know that... in theory, at least,” Aleyn mumbled. “I mean, of course I’ve heard people talk about it, and seen things at the full moon ceremonies, but in practice... it’s kind of a mystery to me.”

“Surely some of your experience must be applicable,” she said, smiling. “The kissing and cuddling parts certainly are, and I hope we both enjoy those.”

“I do,” Aleyn agreed. “But actual, you know, sex, is different, a whole other level of pressure to try and make sure everyone involved is having fun...”

“I understand that feeling,” said Ardith. “I worry too about whether I would be able to give you what you need to feel satisfied, or whether it would always be more of a struggle for you, a chore, to have sex with me... But I hope that we could work on it together, and each practice things that the other would enjoy - it’s not just all about you having to change in order to accommodate me, you know, I’m willing to try new things for you too.”

Aleyn smiled at that. “Okay, that’s good to know. I can come up with some ideas about what we might be able to try...”

“There were some wedding gifts that looked like they might be interesting to experiment with,” Ardith added with a saucy smirk, making Aleyn blush and nod - clearly they were both thinking of the same presents, particularly the one from Brenn and Kallista. “Although that’s something else we might have to work up to.”

“Definitely,” Aleyn agreed, wide-eyed and a bit flustered, but smiling. “And... I don’t know if it’s something you would be open to, but... we could try sex with all three of us together too. I think I would like that.”

“I’m certainly not opposed to the idea,” Ardith replied, blushing a little herself. “Eventually, it’s something I would like for us to be able to share, to express our love that way. But I want to make sure that each of the sides of the triangle are strong and solid before we try to bring them all together, so we know we’re all secure and no one is likely to feel left out or awkward.”

“That makes sense,” Aleyn nodded. “And honestly, I know Vedran isn’t ready for that yet. We talked about it, just a little, and it made him too stressed for the time being. I don’t think he’s against it in theory, but in practice, he felt anxious... overwhelmed.”

“That’s understandable,” said Ardith. “I think ‘overwhelming’ is part of the idea, really. But I realize he’s not in a mental state right now where he feels safe being out of control, even in a good way.”

“I think he’ll get there,” Aleyn reassured her. “Like you said, once we all feel safe and secure with one another, hopefully it’ll be easier to... to let ourselves be overwhelmed like that.”

“And, knowing us, after a lot of conversation first to be sure it’s what we all want,” Ardith added, smiling.

“It’s the best way to be certain,” Aleyn agreed, snuggling close to her. “I hope someday we’ll be able to be spontaneously carried away with desire, but we’ll only get there with a lot of talking and working together now and over the next months, maybe years... I know maybe that’s not what you signed up for...”

“I signed up for you and Vedran,” she said, nipping affectionately at his neck once more. “Whatever that takes.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr at [naryrising](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/naryrising) if you want to ask questions, make requests, or chat!


End file.
